Last time we experimented how many tic tacs I could fit in my bathtub. This time we’re gonna see how long C$1000 will last at online casino slot machines in Canada. Or, rather: how many C$10 slots bets will it take before it is all gone?! And to make it even more interesting, I’ll have three different slots accounts running at the same time. We’ll then compare all the possible stats, how much the respective slots accounts peaked at at most, and, of course, how many slots bets it took to rid myself of all this heavy, burdensome money.
So I set up three accounts and deposited a fine grand onto each. Then I started playing.
I had connected each online slot machine to a software counter to keep track of the data. This was a necessity as slots are much too fast to jot down the results between the spins.
In the first round of slots, I had turned it into a challenge to lose my money as fast as possible. They’re slots. It shouldn’t take too long, now should it? So the first slots machine ruined my ambitions right off the bat by generating an annoying C$400 win after only five spins. I know, I know … it’s provoking to complain about winning money, but as you all know I’m here for a different reason. All money MUST GO. The more time it takes for me to blow it at these slots, the more work it is for me. (And to soften this decadent blow, I have decided to donate another C$3000 to WHO – the World Health Organization, not Doctor Who …
My first session was a rather strident and stringent one. That slots beast just wouldn’t die. It blinked and shouted and kept throwing money at me against my will (there sure is a first time for everything, right?). It took me four days of gambling – or 18 hours in total to blow my C$1000 bankroll at this very stubborn slots machine casino.
The second one couldn’t wait to rob me blind. That son of a slot wiped me clean in little less than three hours. Now, that ought to be difficult to beat! The funny part is how this slots didn’t even give me anything whatsoever to work with in terms of wins. At no point was I ever above the C$1000 slots bankroll I started with. In fact, it took me straight down to about C$800 before I even won my first slots spin. And that wasn’t even a big one either (two or three slots tokens).
Naturally, the final one landed somewhere in between those extreme slots results. It was a rather dull slots experience to be honest. Won some, lost some, but without ever feeling like I had a chance. This slots session started off poorly, just like the second slots attempt did. However, in this one I actually had a few wins of a few hundred each, which took me up to C$1200. After that it was win one, lose one, win one, lose one. That’s when slots become teeeedious, I’m telling you! I’d rather lose it all right away of I’m gonna lose anyway than to be tortured by tedium.
So here are this blog post’s slots stats:
Fastest slots: Slots session number 2, 11 171 slots spins.
Slowest slots: Zzzzzzsss slots number 1, 70 404 slots spins.
Biggest slots bankroll peak: Slots number 1, C$1725
In the next blog post we’ll shave my armpit and count the number of hairs. Make your guesses right now, ladies and gentlemen. Whoever gets closest will get the regular experiment goodiebag.